Poetry for Mental Health

Supporting people with mental health challenges by motivating and inspiring them to write poetry.

Today's Featured Poetry

THE AWFUL TRUTH

By Reno Mcgreggor Connelly

You said I was the toxic one, dragged my name in dirt;

You speak about me like I’m just another abusive ex.

It makes me wonder about those who came before,

The stories you told me, the desperation I saw in them-

Were they really that toxic? Was I? Or is it you?

Was it toxic of me to agree to take in your kid sister?

The one who threatened us and stole my stuff?

You said your parents would pay for everything-

We both worked in SAIP, we could handle anything,

All we had to do is get her through high school

But after a year, my life savings were gone

Along with our dreams of buying a house and farm.

Was I the toxic one when you hit me in front of her?

Screamed in my face while I hurried to gather

What little you left me with, what little was left of me?

Was I toxic when I wanted to foster an orphaned child

And you agreed, but pulled out in the middle of the process?

You broke our would-be daughters’ heart;

You said you were already jealous of her and that

Two minds with BPD couldn’t coexist in one house.

She was just a kid with nothing and no one

And you abandoned her after giving her hope.

You made me break her heart, then blamed me for it all;

I had already gotten her room ready, bought her clothes-

She had a pile of Christmas presents from my mother

That she had to open alone in the psych ward

After being told we (you) didn’t want her anymore.

You threatened me with divorce if I stayed out late

Or forgot to do the dishes or keep the house pristine.

If I was ever upset at you, you always upped the ante.

You’d bring up some issue from years ago and fume

Until you were the angry one and I was apologizing.

You trained me like a dog, you realize that?

Pavlovian conditioning from day one to year nine-

You only treated me well if I was happy and funny and stable. 

I was the rock so that you could be the storm

And over time, I eroded away into mud and sand.

You were always the hero and always the victim;

How many times did you say these words:

“I don’t do anything wrong, all our problems are on you”?

How many red flags did I ignore on account of your disorder?

The day you gave up on our couples counseling

Was the day our therapist made you be accountable

And the moment you saw yourself how you really are

You knew you had to leave, get away, escape (from what?)

I always loved you through your BPD cycles;

I weathered storm after storm after storm after storm

And when I told you I couldn’t and wouldn’t take any more-

When I said that I was going to leave-

You got real quiet, then reassured me over and over,

Wrote me a letter saying you wouldn’t leave or hurt me,

That you’d try to protect me from yourself…

And now I know that after you said all those things,

You went and met a rich, middle-aged man on Tinder

Fifteen years my senior but with a house and doctorate

And wealth to buy you anything you want.

You waited until your words set in and I felt safe

Then you divorced me via text, with a link to a song

(an anthem for the moment you abandoned me).

You made sure to tell me about the new man

And how it was my fault that you went to him

And how he also dreamed of a farm and homestead

The same dream we had been chasing for years.

You went to my family and my closest friends

Before I had a chance to talk to any of them.

You knew each member of my support system

Found them, lied to them, cried to them

And when I came to them for help I was met with

“I don’t want to pick sides, I don’t know who to believe”.

You isolated me and then went no-contact

Until you had my cat put down, then you called

But just to let me know she was going to die-

You wouldn’t even let me say goodbye.

It’s been months now and I’ve heard all the stories,

The ones you’ve been telling people and posting online.

People can believe what they want, I sleep fine at night

Knowing that you know the truth of it all deep down and

That you can’t run from yourself forever and 

That the truth will come like the dawn: 

All the lies you’ve told to yourself will burn away like mist

And you’ll be left alone with just yourself and

The awful truth.

ABOUT THE POEM: "I wrote this poem after a devastating post-divorce therapy session. I endured nearly a decade of emotional abuse from a woman who I believe is truly a good, kind-hearted soul. She had borderline personality disorder and wasn’t really working on coping with it. I didn’t know much about the disorder until after the divorce and after doing much research, everything made sense. It was a very difficult relationship but education and counseling could have made all the difference. I just didn’t know until it was too late. Consider it a cautionary tale." 

ABOUT RENO: Reno is 29 and works as an Autism Specialist in Portland, Oregon. He has previously worked in Secure Adolescent In-Patient (SAIP) and with some of the most traumatized kids in the state. He saw and experienced enough in SAIP to have been diagnosed with his own PTSD. He writes as a coping skill, and so he doesn't forget.

On the themes of mental health, from poets around the world.

Poetry by: Reno Mcgreggor Connelly, Vatsala Radhakeesoon, Martin Embree, Dan Healy, Tadgh Quill-Manley, Reuben Scott, Paulette Hampton, Dr Sabrina Rubin, Bella Hope Smith, Lindsay Walter, Dale "Coyote" Johnson, Alexander A. Henning, Emma Welch, Sophie Squires, Chris McClelland, Sasha Irwin, Faiqa Ali Chughtai, Hari Berrow, Victoria Fitzgerald, Andrea Mitchell, Mohammed Ali, Chad Boucher, Zack Benz, Jordan Claeys, Nicole Crossno, Valentina Fulginiti, Ethan Boyd, Heidi Hildeman, Oscar Lozano, Addie Suter, Dionne Risley, David M White, PhD, Melissa W. Sorgi, Kyra Merryman, Riley M. Frank, Hilary Canto, Amelia May Hart, Reese, Anneli Knight, Keila Cruz, Bhagvati Patel, Amber Roeder, Cynthia Foss, April Bulmer, Chelsea Garcia, Trish Lundy, Divya Paliwal, Jeanette Stephenson. Luke Preston, Autumn Johnson, Amy Harris, Braxsen Sindelar, Kristen Moody, Sindy Stern, Sam Hendrian, Deby Cedars, Kiran Harrar, William Gray , Tim Boardman, Jason Kirk Bartley, Ruben Smith, Crystal Hall, Diane Kennedy, Phil Griffiths, Nadine Dunseith, Cynthia Foss, Titan Sanchez, Alex Turner, Brielle Hoban, Aviva Lilith, Spruce Craft, Frea Wooten, Rosalynn Gildart, April Bartaszewicz, Prudence Sage Massaria, Howa Ramadan, Brodeigh Pearce, Annie Walsh, Charity Louise, Sasha Pavlovic, Haley Headrick, Trisha Lawty, Noor Yousif, Hannah Louise MacFarlane, Anthony Lanza, Basil Kaye, Malachy Mackel, G.S. Yarbro, Sanda Ristić Stojanović, Bobby Z, Binod Dawadi, Fredua A .Boateng, C.W. Blackburn, James Aitchison, Eshaal Asim, Anthony Lanza, Natalie Hussey, Kiran Harrar, Gary Shulman, Abraham Aruguete, Johnathan Eldridge, Faith Graham, Amanda Sharon Hancock, Garima Sachdev Kapoor, Rita McDermott, Shahida Seedat, Jose Manoj Mathews T, Farblos Artem, Jennifer L. Alukonis, Thomas Oddie, Tricia Lloyd Waller, Lisa Anderson, Himanshu Ahuja, K. Weber and Mary Bone.

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Our NEW Poetry for Mental Health magazine featuring poetry on the topics and themes of mental health from writers and poets around the world, as well as lots of poetry writing advice, tips & techniques, articles, essays, poet profiles, personal stories, and a forthcoming regular poetry competition!