SHADOW OF HATE
In her desolation lies beneath
The monstrous pain of deceit
Clenching her with its wicked teeth
She wonders if there is any escape
She closes her eyes but was taunted
Of the darkness swallowing her image
She tries to hide, pulls a faded blanket
Only for fear creeping like a savage
Her heartbeat roaring like thunder
Gasping for breath, suffocating
Hatred mocked her for winning
Numbness follows and all tastes bitter
Crushed, broken, she's lost in the vast
Groping for every little hope, faith and love
To rise and continue her wanderlust
Before her weakness buries her alive
SUICIDAL
I am in my solitude
Embraced by stillness
Engulfed by the darkness
Drowned by my tears
I am in my solitude
My heart is aching
My soul is searching
My mind is wanting
I am in my solitude
At the edge of a cliff
Heart shakened, mind rattled
Knees shaking, losing grip
I am in my solitude
Counting my last hours
Grasping my minutes
Holding on to my last seconds
If my sun will never rise
And if my heart will never beat
Please let me leave in peace and be,
In my solitude
CRYING IN THE RAIN
With heaviness walk, walk free
Under the rain, let your tears fall
For nobody will see from your eyes
The pain hiding from a smile
Let a beat up heart pound harder
On accord with every drop of water
Find comfort in every ripple it makes
Just flow, let it flow, to ease the burden
Soon the rain, like sorrow, it won't last
It may bring coldness, after it pours
Numbness even when it's gone
Leaving only traces of what has been
Dry your tears and smile again
It's a tough world but your tougher
Embrace and love yourself more
'Coz you are priceless, you are worth it.
BE STILL
Shimmering stars from the sky
Sprinkle stardust on a solitary soul
Seeking solace on solitude
Screaming silent sorrows
Scarcely healing scars
Saying starlight, starbright
Shine oh shine for me tonight!
Sitting stiffly at an edge
Save me from suicidal sea
Still me, don't let me steal
Sacred body with spiteful mind
Saintly prayers but sinful wishes
Stars oh stars and moon connive
Sneak a light, spare my sanity
Show a glow be my knightly sparrow
Sheer light, shift my strings
Set me free to safer ground
Standing stances and be still, again.
DANCING WITH DEATH
An anguished cry escaped from me
Visions blur in spite of the light around
A familiar voice within me speaks
Sending shivers to my whole body
I started to move away, away, away ...
I found myself repeating the rhythms
Stepping in, stepping out
Into the dark and into the light
My mind is blown while my heart is torn
Silence is the only noise I heard
Even the wind refused to make a sound
Leaving me alone in the claws of deafness
Tears pulsating, heartbeats racing
An exorcism is about to begin
A battle I'm taunted to win, I should, I wish
For if the last straw of sanity gives up, it is my end
Helplessly, I crawl back into the light
Gripping tightly to every faith I can hold
I closed my eyes and screamed
I rebuke, rebuke, rebuke!....
And I cheated death again.
MEMORY OF AUTUMN LEAVES
Pieces after pieces
Falling from atop
Been clinging for so long
Only to surrender
With one soft blow of the wind
The moment it drops
It will only be a memory
A blurry past, a story
That will be written
How it grew,
From tiny sprout
To growing its veins
Where full life flowed
How it almost died
And chose to live
For two days more
Before the last sunset of autumn
Then bid goodbye
To the unfair world
ABOUT MARIA
Maria is a domestic helper in Hong Kong from the Philippines. She is a co-founder of Migrant Writers of Hong Kong. In 2021, she was one of Giving Tuesday's Starling Collective Fellow, a global leadership training platform that advocates global generosity. In her free time, she volunteers in various organizations in Hong Kong making her also one of the Spirit of Hong Kong 2023 nominees by Uplifters. She is a grassroot leader and writer who inspires her fellow domestic workers to become better versions of themselves and promotes women empowerment in the community through her writings.
fb: @marianemylou.rocio
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THANK YOU to the following people who have donated to Poetry For Mental Health: Barbara Rivers, Rabi Mariathasan, Duane Anderson, John Zurn, Sandra Rollins,
Braxsen Sindelar, Caroline Berry, Sage Gargano, Gabriel Cleveland, April Bartaszewicz, Patricia Lynn Coughlin, Hilary Canto, Jennifer Mabus, Chris Husband, Dr Sarah Clarke, Eva Marie Dunlap, Sheri Thomas, Andrew Stallwood, Stephen Ferrett, Craig Davidson, Joseph Shannon Hodges, John Tunaley, and
Patrick Oshea.