OKAY
I’m not okay, and I know
‘that’s okay’
but how do I get past that?
with everything I can’t understand and all the words
I cannot find, cannot feel
Happy - yes that’s it!
is that what I’m aiming for?
if so, I’m failing (and that doesn’t help)
Help - that feels more like it
4 simple letters strung together
in desperation
but how do I use them?
where are they?
I can feel them already, slipping away
into the realm of everything that feels wrong.
And I am there, in the centre of it all
lost, falling.
SPREADING
The infection in my mind
has taken to rot, taken hold
of my body - claimed
as its next victim.
I can feel it, slowly, breaking away
at each bone, each bite: fresh and ripe
Euphoric - it can’t get enough.
Wearing me down, as I wither away
in its delight
CHECKED-OUT
I’m not even sure
what it is that I’m looking for
why I keep digging
at this bottomless hole
that swallows me up
as the days keep on turning
and I lose track of time in this
darkened new home
I thought I was reaching to climb myself higher
but it seems I have dug myself
further below, far away
from the world that is thriving and growing
whilst I find myself
shrinking
lost, and
alone
THE GHOST IN NEED
Today I winced, as I looked in the mirror
and my ribs pounced out to break free.
Today I cried, as I saw my reflection
and the bones that were left of me.
Are you happy now? My stomach growled
in disgust,
an agonising screech of pain.
Not at all, I whisper
with a sympathetic pity
for the ghost
I must try
to love again.
CAGE
When did I step inside this cage?
I can’t remember walking in
but here I am, no longer free
as my body repulses, each time
I try to leave: hands shaking, breath short
head exploding, screaming over and over
RETREAT
as the bars slam down
to block my path with its
thick iron lock … when
did I step inside this cage?
I can’t remember walking in
yet here I am
no longer free
and it’s me who has always
held the key
SILHOUETTE
Today the sun rose
and fell, without a second
alone
from the rain, without a sound
muttered from a neglected voice
and already
the soul-less silhouette of darkness has been
cast down
in its sobering silence
to accompany me
in my solitude
ABOUT CHARLY
Charly is a poetry author from South Wales, UK. Her writing focuses on mental health, mindfulness, nature, and well-being; she hopes to connect with the world and inspire a more gentle way of living. A lot of her work has been written during her time living in France and throughout her travels in Asia. She has just released her first poetry book, A Collection of Wildflowers (Arkbound UK). Her poems are featured in the Mental Health anthology, the online literary journal: Poemstellium (Mental Health Awareness Day, 2023), and the literary magazine: Coffee People Zine (Issue 21: Fire).
E: charlannwhite@outlook.com
W: https://thepoetrygarden.wixsite.com/the-poetry-garden
Instagram: @the.poetrygarden
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Patrick Oshea.