COMPANION
I unwillingly have a companion
Who resides inside my brain
Nestled just behind my eyes
Slowly driving me insane
My companion sits behind my eyes
Their perception leads the way
Burrowed down below my curls
Their thinking hard to sway
Here as one, my companion and I
A unit despite much protesting
Joined for life inside this soul
Our beliefs often contesting
I’ve tried to get my companion out
To split their thoughts away from the rest
Still they reside inside my brain
Sending darkness to my chest
I unwillingly have a companion
I’ve read books and I’ve cast spells
Said prayers and cleansed my spaces
Still this vessel’s where it dwells
VISITOR
Her hands trembled with hesitation
Knowing well what raps on the door
She stops a few feet back
Knowing it’s something she cannot ignore
Sweat collects upon her browline
Willing the visitor to go
She holding in her breath
Willing herself to tell them no
The knocking outside increases in speed
Demanding her attention now
She sees faint rays of light
Demanding for her to avow
Shining beams spill across wooden floors
Anxiety fills her heaving chest
She braces for impact
Anxiety knows her the best
Toward the door with a slow advance
Finally ready to give in
She knows the gift they bring
Again the cycle will begin
HAPPINESS I
Happiness
Was not a feeling
I held secure
For more than moments
Happiness
Was a brief reprieve
From troubled thoughts
Often gone to soon
Happiness
Was big, crashing waves
Cyclic storms and
Roller coaster rides
Happiness
Was just a notion
Outside of my
Capabilities
Happiness
Just started knocking
Come to take me
For another stroll
HAPPINESS II
Happiness and I
We took another stroll
We traveled on familiar path
Among trees and grassy knoll
Happiness and I
We had some time again
We reminisced on foregone days
We laughed about what could have been
Happiness and I
We watched the sun go down
We headed back along the trail
My smile fading to a frown
Happiness and I
We climbed up to my door
Happiness grabbed my hand
Something she’d never done before
Happiness and I
We shared a lingering gaze
My eyes soon fix upon the moon
And then happiness sways
Happiness and I
We spun towards the stars
We dipped and soared - we dove and swung
Above winding roads and speeding cars
Happiness and I
Fell freely to the ground
Landing lightly on green grass
I took a breath and looked around
Happiness and I
But I was all alone
A different light somewhere within
Companion quiet on their throne
HAPPINESS III
I once spoke of a stroll I took
Happiness was by my side
I spent the day within her midst
My every whim she would abide
I wrote of landing back on earth
She was no longer within reach
She held my hand and danced with me
Her company a temporary breach
I spent a few days wallowing
Alone without a light
My companion remained silent
Even in the dead of night
I woke one day with feeling
A bursting in my chest
Understanding now she’s been here
Providing a safer time to rest
Happiness would no longer arrive
As something I see
Instead she joined in for the ride
Lingering inside of me
At first she sat under my curls
Holding my companion’s thoughts at bay
I began to see through clearer eyes
The beauty I’d swept away
As the days grew dark and dreary
Happiness’s voice began to fade
My companion regained harbored strength
The inner peace I’d built decayed
I try to keep my companion
From taking complete control
I hope one day happiness returns
To take me for a stroll
ABOUT HALES
Hales is a queer writer based in St.Louis, Missouri, and has faced mental health challenges throughout her life. She is passionate about mental health awareness, social justice and advocacy, and using creativity to drive lasting change. Her poems aim to capture the ups and downs of living with mental health conditions.
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