The attitudes involved in non-judgemental listening are acceptance, genuineness and empathy. These are known as core conditions because all are necessary to create a safe, comfortable environment which will enable the person to talk more freely.

The Effective Listener

Listening to the person talk about their situation may evoke a number of emotions within yourself; e.g. fear, irritation, sadness etc. It is important that the listener continues to be open without you showing these feelings. At times this may seem difficult, depending on the relationship between the listener and distressed person. Remember you are offering the distressed person a place of safety based on respect acceptance and understanding. After this encounter you may feel unsettled, shocked, confused, angry etc., and will sometimes need to speak to someone yourself, but always remember to never divulge the identity of the person in crisis.

Listening skills

• Listen without interruption
• Pay attention.
• Listen not only to the words but pay attention to body language, speech and tone of voice. This will give you an indication on how they are feeling.
• Summarise facts and feelings.
• It's OK to have long pauses, sometimes with a’ Mmmm’ or ‘I see’ is all that’s necessary to keep a conversation going.