Featured Poet - Anthony Ward

DISORDER

When I’m engulfed by disorder

I remember only the echo of feelings,

Wishing they could reach me,

Settle upon me like the warmth of the sun

After the clouds have parted.

Instead,

My mind’s like fallen leaves,

Stirred by the breeze into a tumult of distractions,

That divert me from the direction I want to take,

Haunted by a future that might never happen.

BOILING POINT

I wish I could take my mind off things,

Like taking a kettle of the boil,

Stop it from screeching with thoughts

Spilling over and scolding me.

Pouring over them

With ground up aggression,

Pent up with an adrenaline rush

That stalls me from sleeping.

ABOUT THE POEMS: 'Disorder' and 'Boiling Point' were written in relation to when I find myself having to fight against threatening thoughts, having lost the stability of inner peace.

LIGHTHOUSE

Why have I anxiety when I’m not anxious.

Why am I full of fear when I’m feeling fine.

Why am I restless when I’m at peace with the world.

Is something playing on my mind,

A song instead of the soundtrack.

Why am I strange when everyone’s stranger.

I sail through the tumultuous crowd

Swayed this way and that,

Manoeuvring myself against waves of people

That crash into me

Causing my head to spin,

As I try to shed light in the darkness

To leading people away from hitting rock bottom.

ABOUT THE POEM: I wrote this as a response to the times when I may feel anxious for no apparent reason.

UNDER THE WEATHER

Why am I down? You ask,

After putting me down.

I’d managed to lift my head from the pillow,

Like the sun on the horizon.

Rose from my bed, stretching,

Like the sun pulling itself above the hills.

All full of light, beaming from ear to ear,

Feeling the heat of the moment.

Boiling with optimism with the bubbling kettle,

Before stepping out in the street with a spring in my step,

Where you passed over me like a black cloud,

With a downpour of abuse,

Encouraging the depression you so deeply despise.

SEEKING ATTENTION

Those who that think there’s no issue with mental health,

Are the issue!

Those who can’t keep themselves to themselves-

Who have to impose themselves on those who can.

Implying that mental health does not exist,

That’s it’s a put on for attention,

Until we’re left running mad

Like the man at the end of Body Snatchers,

Ranting and raving,

With nobody listening,

Only hearing what they can see.

FORECAST

The cold front of a crowd closes in,

Pushing beneath the warm front I bring,

Pelting me with ignorance,

The wind contorts in my stomach,

Clouding my mind

Becoming overcast with grave thoughts

Hailing from within,

Raining down,

A brooding storm approaching with thunderous thoughts

Until I’m struck down

And it all becomes clear again

As I hear the blackbird sing.

ABOUT THE POEMS: 'Under The Weather', 'Seeking Attention' and 'Forecast' were written to convey the frustration of the difficulty of trying to overcome the pressures of mental health while being thwarted by the unnecessary provocation of insensitive people.